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I feel like I need to take a moment and step back from the rush and panic that I feel when I think about college. I know I should be thinking about it now and looking at all my options but there are things I need to get done first.

First, I need to actually finish something that I start for once. I've only finished one painting so far this entire school year. I haven't been practicing digital at all and it's something I really should work on. I really need to work on poses, backgrounds, and shading.

Second, I need to get my drivers license. I can start planning so much more once I have it and I don't need to bum a ride off my parents all the time. Because 9 times out of 10 they say no and I'm screwed. Art club, volunteer work, friends, and my job. All are so much more accessible when you can drive yourself.

Third, job hunting. As many of my local friends know, I hate my job. I don't just hate my job, it makes me want to punch babies and scream profanities at old ladies. I don't get many hours, my boss has the personality and kindness of a sour mop, and it eats into my sleep. I never get to sleep in past 7 am anymore. Honestly, the only place I want to work is where most of the employees get along. A positive work atmosphere is so wonderful, you can't even begin to imagine.

Fourth, I need my own P.O Box. It may not really seem important but it's a handy thing to have. I can use it to get art school information without having to face the scrutiny of my parents, I can use it to accept commissions, and it makes me feel like a grown up. Quiet you, I've been treated lie a child so much lately that feeling that way is a huge confidence boost.

Fifth, I need to get the hell out of this house. Not that I don't love my parents, it's just that I need some space from the parental units. I've lived a rather sheltered life up to now, some would say more restricted than others and I would agree. I need the chance to experience things now without having mom and dad breathing down my neck. I wanna pull an all-nighter or two hanging out with my friends, paint my walls (I've had eggshell walls my entire life dammit!), not have to worry about being home on time, and most of all I want more time with Craig ~Dragonboyxyz alone!

For example, for my birthday he and my aunts and uncle from the madre's side came to visit. Craig got there really early so we could hang out without everyone being there. Mom left us alone in the house for an hour to go grocery shopping! Two teenagers! Alone! that's how teen pregnancy happens! (FYI: No we did not. You need to get your mind out of the gutter.) The next morning, he and I are on the couch in the living room. My aunt is on the couch across from us and everyone else is in the kitchen which is right behind us. We start wrestling and wind up laying down, facing each other. Mom storms over, slams her hands on the back of the couch and yells ,"I don't trust you two like that! Couches are for sitting and lounging! Not laying! That is too prone a position for you two to be in!"

What the hell?! Prone for what?! Me kneeing him in the crotch? The crap were we going to do with the entire family in the same room?! Does she really think we're gonna go into foreplay just because we are laying down and facing eat other?

Ugh…

I realize that I spent most of this journal whining but I feel a little better. But it’s almost midnight and I have to work in the morning, as usual. Craig’s gonna be at a fire station pretty much all day tomorrow so I won’t get to talk to him much unless the firefighters let him text, but I highly doubt they will. I miss my human pillow…

CRAIG YOU I’M STILL GONNA STEAL YOUR SWEATSHIRT AND BLANKET!

_{Wow, this is probably one of the longest, non-meme journals I’ve ever written…}